The day has finally come!

So, I got here at Mike's yesterday. He got back from WLC in the AM, and I got here in the afternoon. I know he's pretty frustrated with the army right now. He got back and that same night there was "mandatory fun". They had a mandatory Xmas party. He was NOT happy, and neither were the other guys. He's just been really frustrated lately because I think he's getting the predeployment blues. He knows our time together is getting shorter, and there are more and more trainings (well, DUH! Deployment soon!) I just told him to try to make the best of it. Poor thing, I think he was just really tired. I was FORCING him to socialize. Until, I talked to him about it- it kinda made me sad. "I don't socialize with them. I work with them, I see them at work. It hurts enough losing one, if I'm closer than that it hurts more." Well, okay, makes sense. Still, I told him that where you block pain you also block joy. I've learned that the hard way.
After that we went to dinner with a buddy of his that he's been getting to know better, and was at WLC with. He brough his girl too and I like them both a lot. The Guy is a lot of fun and makes Mike smile! (It's hard to do, Mike's sort of a complex guy.) I know they'll look out for eachother. Makes me feel less like Mike's so isolated too. The girl and I had a LOT in common and I liked her a lot too. Funny, cos I don't usually like girls! We had a BLAST!
Later we went and got food, and ended up getting the things he needed for his apartment (yay no more barracks!) and did well even on prices! I helped him try to make it as expedient (and cheap) as possible. I'm kind of a deal seeker. He laughs because I figure price per oz. and go from there! LOL So it's a little much, but it helps! He says he likes shopping with me because I make it so much easier. (Plus, I know where everything is, and what's a rip off!)I fixed my computer by myself while he was gone, AND I fixed his shower today, AND helped him find some PVC glue for his sink (he didn't know what to use, but I did!) So he should be good to go. My self reliant guy. Sometimes he doesn't know what to do with having someone like me around. It's sweet.
I know he's been VERY frustrated all weekend, because we had the mandatory fun, and then today we ran more errands, but we DID go see Beowulf (GO SEE IT!) and tonight at about 11 he had to go to an exercise and won't be back till about 4pm tomorrow! grr! stupid army! That's okay. I'm grateful for the time we have and I understand. (That's the other thing, he says he can't wrap his head around me understanding!) So, the interference isn't fun for either of us, but I'm trying to stay positive (HARD sometimes!). I just told him that we deal with the cards we're dealt, and to make the best of it. For ex: yeah, it sucks the he has to go, BUT it makes us appreciate the time we have and not to take eachother for granted, AND he'll know that when he comes back I'll be here! :) (I know, Vomit at pollyanna!)I told him too that it's just gonna get worse from here as it gets closer, and really it's not like i'm gonna be at home stewing over it. I've got plenty to keep myself busy! :P

Oh! and I gave him his christmas present. He LOVED it! We have matching Mispahs that when apart are halves, but when joined make the army symbol and a prayer on the back: The Lord watch between me and thee while we are apart one from the other.
He says it's now SOP (standard operating procedure- AKA part of his uniform!) which just cracked me up! He makes me so happy, and we're so good together.

I think most of it is just that he's feeling "the countdown."
I think we both are.
We'll get through it!

Three days left, and other news!

So, I've not written in a bit. I'm surviving of course.. as we all knew I would. I miss Mike when he's gone, and it seems when he IS gone the poo hits the fan, but if I do say so myself I've been handling it beautifully!
He sneaks little phone calls or texts when he can, which is quite sweet and has helped me out quite a bit. As always, every day is different and better or worse than another. BUT three days left and I go to see him- HUZZAH! Like they say, the absence certainly makes you appreciate what you have. It seems he was supposed to go into the field and camp out there, but the CO's decided it was "too cold"! I'm sorry, but I find that QUITE funny!

In other news, my brother (Kenyon) will be graduating from Warrant officer school soon. This would be normal and just fine, except that NOTHING is normal for my family. As it turns out there's a little snag in the procedure here!

Okay so this is a 3 day event- sunday with the family, monday with others, and tuesday with the actual graduation.
Well, so the base commander is Lt. Col. and the head of the school is Maj.
They were asked that if they had anyone coming higher than Maj. to let them know. (To swear my brother in.)
Well, my dad is a full bird retired Col. in the AF.
Sooo... my brother had to fill out paperwork.
He was then notified that all retired and active personnel are expected to be in their Class A's. (My dad is NOT happy about that! I mean medals and everything..)
He will also upon arrival at the base, have to RECIEVE THE BASE COMMANDER! He will also be issued an assistant and a driver, and will be given the officer's quarters to stay in. And now it turns out that he has to buy a whole new uniform because his is so outdated!
AND when bro graduates from flight school, mom - the Colonel's wife- will be pinning him. Which means, all the LOWER RANKING officer's wives will have to leave their calling cards with her! (The reason this is so funny is, 1) my family is NOT one for procedure, formality, or pulling rank and 2) we TRY, though it never works, to keep a low profile!)

My brother has been insisting on a LOW profile this whole time- SO MUCH FOR THAT!
My family life is insane.

Nobody ever believes my stories about my family. When I was a kid, they called me a liar! These stories, things like this, are the reason why!
________

Other than that, I'm doing well. I'm graduating! YAY! And will be looking for a job, and moving soon, so it may be sparse here for a bit as not much will be happening.
I shall, as always, keep posting!

"A Day That Will Live in Infamy"

Sadly, even days declared for Infamy are slowly forgotten. Americans, and people in general just seem to do that. I think, especially in light of the fact that "the sleeping giant" has been awakened again we are in the middle of a war. We should take this lesson to heart and realize that without rememberance- these days, their heroes and losses, and their lessons are forgotten, and in essence we are doomed to repeat them.



This date, December 7, 1941, is the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor by the Japanese.
This year will mark the 66th anniversary of this tragic event.
Please take a moment to reflect today.
_____________________________________

Air Raid on Pearl Harbor
On December 7, 1941, Japanese planes attacked the United States Naval Base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii Territory killing more than 2,300 Americans. The U.S.S. Arizona was completely destroyed and the U.S.S. Oklahoma capsized. The attack sank three other ships and damaged many additional vessels. More than 180 aircraft were destroyed.

A hurried dispatch from the ranking United States naval officer in Pearl Harbor, Commander in Chief Pacific, to all major navy commands and fleet units provided the first official word of the attack at the ill-prepared Pearl Harbor base. It said simply: AIR RAID ON PEARL HARBOR X THIS IS NOT DRILL.

The following day President Franklin Roosevelt, addressing a joint session of Congress, called December 7 "a date which will live in infamy." Declaring war against Japan, Congress ushered the United States into World War II and forced a nation, already close to war, to abandon isolationism. Within days, Japan's allies, Germany and Italy, declared war on the United States, and the country began a rapid transition to a war-time economy in building up armaments in support of military campaigns in the Pacific, North Africa, and Europe.
_______

The attack on Pearl Harbor was a surprise attack that shocked the US. On the morning of December 7, 1941, planes and midget submarines of the Imperial Japanese Navy began a surprise attack on the U.S. under the command of Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto. Despite long-standing assertions that this attack could have been predicted and prevented by the United States Military, the US forces at Pearl Harbor appeared to be utterly unprepared, and the attack effectively drew the United States into World War II. At 6:09 a.m. on December 7, 1941, the six Japanese carriers launched a first wave of 181 planes composed mainly of torpedo bombers, dive bombers, horizontal bombers and fighters. The Japanese hit American ships and military installations at 7:55 a.m. They attacked military airfields and at the same time they hit the fleet anchored in Pearl Harbor. The battleship "USS Arizona" was hit with an armor piercing bomb which penetrated the forward ammunition compartment, blowing the ship apart. Overall, twenty-one ships of the U.S. Pacific fleet were damaged and the death toll reached 2,350, along with 68 civilians and 1,178 injured. Of the military personnel lost at Pearl Harbor, 1,177 were from the Arizona. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt declared Dec. 7, 1941, "a date which will live in infamy."
______________________
There is now a memorial in Hawaii:
http://www.nps.gov/usar/

http://www.thisweek.com/oahu/tour/tour-pearlharbor.html

It seems however, the USS Arizona Memorial will have to be abandoned in about two years for safety reasons. Check out the new plans:
http://www.pearlharbormemorial.com/site/pp.asp?c=fqLQJ2NNG&b=238984

_______________________
To see personal accounts of what those who were there remember of the moments they heard of the bombings click here:
("Americans Remember Pearl Harbor") http://www.stg.brown.edu/projects/WWII_Women/RA/NCraig/PHMemories.html



Have a wonderful day, and celebrate your freedom. - Kate

Six Boys (Iwo Jima)

Each year I am hired to go to Washington, DC, with the eighth grade class from Clinton, WI where I grew up, to videotape their trip. I greatly enjoy visiting our nation's capitol, and each year I take some special memories back with me. This fall's trip was especially memorable.

On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history -- that of the six brave soldiers raising the American Flag at the top of a rocky hill on the island of Iwo Jima, Japan, during WW II. Over one hundred students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, 'Where are you guys from? I told him that we were from Wisconsin 'Hey, I'm a cheese head, too! Come gather around, Cheese heads, and I will tell you a story.'

James Bradley just happened to be in Washington, DC, to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good night to his dad, who had passed away. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington, D.C., but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night. When all had gathered around, he reverently began to speak. (Here are his words that night.) "My name is James Bradley and I'm from Antigo, Wisconsin. My dad is on that statue, and I just wrote a book called 'Flags of Our Fathers' which is #5 on the New York Times Best Seller list right now. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me.
Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game: A game called 'War'. But it didn't turn out to be a game. Harlon, at the age of 21, died with his intestines in his hands. I don't say that to gross you out, I say that because there are people who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were 17, 18, and 19 years old - and it was so hard that the ones who did make it home never even would talk to their families about it."

He pointed to the statue. "You see this next guy? That's Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire. If you took Rene's helmet off at the moment this photo was taken and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph... a photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection because he was scared. He was 18 years old. It was just boys who won the battle of Iwo Jima. Boys. Not old men. The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the 'old man' because he was so old. He was already 24. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn't say, 'Let's go kill some Japanese' or 'Let's die for our country.' He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, 'You do what I say, and I'll get you home to your mothers.'

The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona. Ira Hayes was one who walked off Iwo Jima . He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, 'You're a hero.' He told reporters, 'How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only 27 of us walked off alive?' So you take your class at school, 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only 27 of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes carried the pain home with him and eventually died dead drunk, face down at the age of 32. (ten years after this picture was taken)."

"The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky. A fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, 'Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn't get down. Then we fed them Epsom salts. Those cows crapped all night.' Yes, he was a fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of 19. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother's farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. Those neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away. 'The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley from Antigo, Wisconsin, where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite's producers or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say 'No, I'm sorry, sir, my dad's not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don't know when he is coming back.' My dad never fished or even went to Canada. Usually, he was sitting there right at the table eating his Campbell's soup. But we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn't want to talk to the press."


"You see, like Ira Hayes, my dad didn't see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, cause they are in a photo and on a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died. And when boys died in Iwo Jima, they writhed and screamed, without any medication or help with the pain."

"When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, 'I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. Did NOT come back.' So that's the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima , and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7,000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time."


Suddenly, the monument wasn't just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero for the reasons most people would believe, but a hero nonetheless.

-Michael T. Powers (2000)

Eight days left!

So, I've been super busy with school, but that's OVER! HUZZAH!
I've talked to Mike a bit every night, just a quick hey goodnight kind of thing, but still nice to have.
Like deployment (I'm told) I didn't like the first few days, and still don't like it, but am adjusting and doing well now. Looks like i'll be just fine.
He'll be in the field this weekend so we won't get to talk, but we're on the downhill slope now so no worries.
His Xmas present came in! I'm not gonna advertise it YET because I know he reads this, but I'll tell y'all later (and where to get them if you want one).
I'm working on my Xmas charity projects. Since I'm moving, i'm going to cull my books again- the ONLY reason being projectpaperback and the fact that the soldiers read the same genres I do. Goes to a good cause.
So, now, I'm taking a couple days to myself to relax, work on Xmas stuff, and then I guess it's packing and moving on to the next phase in my life.
It sucks that Mike was gone these last few weeks because they were the last (and most stressful) weeks of my school career. But, I'm fine on my own.
BTW- he's doing quite well. As usual, feels like it's a lot of procedure and redundant BS, but well, sometimes that's the Army!
All in all, things are good, we're good, training's almost over, and I'll see him in Eight days! huzzah!

A Different Kind of Christmas Poem

In light that tomorrow starts the month of December I'm posting this here now.
I'd like to ask that you please try to remember our service members: deployed, stateside, Active, reserve, retired, injured, and no longer with us.
If you'd like a Christmas project please look at the thread here entitled "How can you help?" There are several suggestions there. OR check out http://www.americasupportsyou.mil which has over 300 verified and legitimate ways to help!

A Different Kind of Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas
Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite k now,

Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the
snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was
near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my
child.

'What are you doing?' I asked without fear,
'Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!

Put down your pack, brush the snow from your
sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!'


For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said 'Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night.'

'It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December, '
Then he sighed, 'That's a Christmas Gram always
remembers.

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not se en my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got
her smile. '

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue...an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.'
'So go back inside,' he said, 'harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right.'

'But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
'Give you money,' I asked, 'or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son.'

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
'Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,

To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.'

LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction
Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum

Days Two and Three

So, I'm not PLANNING on writing every day that Michael's gone, but we'll see. Sometimes, in fact, quite often, I just like to write.
So, yesterday was a trying day- I'll spare you the dull and whiny details. All in all I'm pretty grateful that I'm home and safe! No Complaints here!
I got a short phone call from Michael. He's having a little bit of difficulty with some stupid finicky stuff, but I'm sure he'll be fine. I think maybe he's just frustrated. I just try to encourage him and keep him smiling! I just remind him that he's loved, and I didn't let on how frustraeted I was yesterday, or what a tough day it was- he had no clue! I'm proud of myself for that, because really they weren't major problems, it helps me learn to better rely on myself, and frankly he doesn't need the added stress. Like I said "dress rehearsal" is good practice. It was a short phone call, but I'm quite grateful for it. Maybe I'll be lucky and get another soon!
I've been frustrated because I haven't been able to write to my brother (he's mid-address as the Army often makes the soldiers...it takes a bit to get an address) but the best thing happened yesterday! Apparently, yesterday he graduated from BCT. I GOT A PHONE CALL! It was too short, as they always are, but we got to talk for a good 5-10 minutes! The best part is he said that a funny letter I sent him kept him laughing during guard duty! (at about 3 am with nothing to do) He said he really enjoyed it which made my day.




I talked to my mother as well. Her favorite Uncle, my Great Uncle Kenny was apparently in the AF. He framed and sent her HIS WINGS! Apparently, and quite unfortunately, he has several grandkids in the service who don't really stay in touch with him, and he can't get out much because his wife has Alzheimer's. Since they could care less, and he has always adored my mother, he sent them to her! He and his wife live in X state, and it's great why- he promised his wife that once he was out of the service he would take her home to live. *swoon* Those wings meant the world to my mother. I've never met him (that I can remember at least) and have heard so much, and I've wanted to contact him so I decided there's no time like the present! I wrote him a letter telling him what I've been up to, and a little about myself. He apparently is quite impressed and very much enjoyed the letter. I'm going to call him soon and see if I can't continue to stay in contact with him. He's important.
So, a bad day turned out wonderfully!
Just 14 days to go! Sheesh!

"Dress Rehearsal" begins!

So, Mike was in the field yesterday (monday) and came back today (tuesday) to leave for WLC training (he was promoted to SGT! YAY him!) on Wednesday. Yes, the Army is just brilliant.
So, today (Wednesday) the "dress rehearsal" begins. He and I are very close, and I know he's having a hard time being away from me, and I from him. We've been apart, but not the Army way for more than a week at a time. And We've not had communication blackouts for more than a few days (in the field). We don't know if we'll be able to talk this time around. So, I sent him with 15 prewritten letters to pack. So... I'm calling it "dress rehearsal" to relax him and myself. This is "just dress rehearsal" for the real thing! We'll be JUST fine!
I was awake (okay, I cheated and set my alarm!)at 2 am when he had to leave, so I called him just to cheer him up. I'm not a morning person, but I love how he sounds when he knows I'm happy so I was chipper as can be. I was making sure he didn't go BACK to sleep (poor guy felt like ick!) and got up for WLC. I wanted him to have a good send off! I just wanted to relieve some of the tension or pressure. I was trying to put a positive spin on it, because it's been a thorn in the side for some time- he's just ready to "get it over with." Who can blame him? So.. a BRIEF Reveille and he had to go off to WLC!
I haven't talked to him tonight, but I expected that. He kept telling me he heard rumors that before bed they would have time to talk. I simply told him that would be fantastic, but that if they didn't that was okay- I know the drill. I also told him if he was just too exhausted to talk, it was FINE to crash and we'd talk later!
I told him not to worry, His trooper will be fine! (He tells me I'm his trooper.)

Turns out, he graduates WLC and I graduate school on the same day, so that will be a day to celebrate! Huzzah!

I haven't heard from him today. I miss him already. I told him I'm spoiled rotten.
It was cute because he was thinking, I believe, in terms of things. I have no jewelry to speak of and have gotten flowers a couple of times, a sweet poem, some brief emails and messages. < Even there I'm spoiled! But I was telling him that I'm so lucky because I'm spoiled in the best way: I get phone calls "just because," if I want something he will find a way that I can have it (I have to be cautious what I mention!) I get hugs and cuddles whenever i need. I can call him at 2pm or 2am if I have a problem, it doesn't matter. He always listens to me, makes me laugh... I talk to him every day in some form or fashion, and because of email and text- throughout the day! I'm ROTTEN. The big D will be QUITE the adjustment and probably a bit of culture shock on my part!
And so.. the countdowns begin...

This MUST stop!

Dear XXX,
I'm writing today to ask you to please take a minute to help us out on an important issue that is affecting wounded servicemembers.

When Jordan Fox was serving as a Private First Class in Iraq in May of this year, he was injured by a roadside bomb. The attack left him with a back injury and blind in his right eye, and as a result, the Army sent him home. A few weeks later, to his surprise, they sent him a bill for nearly $3,000.

The Army demanded that he return part of his enlistment bonus because he had been injured and medically discharged before completing his enlistment. Jordan had signed up to serve his country and was injured in the line of duty, and now the Army was asking for its money back.

Fortunately, there's a new bill gaining momentum in Congress that would ensure this doesn't happen to others in his situation. Pennsylvania Congressman Jason Altmire has introduced the "Veterans Guaranteed Bonus Act" (H.R. 3793), and IAVA is making a major push to ensure it gets passed as soon as possible. Please take a minute to send a message to your Representatives urging them to support it.

Throughout this fight, Jordan has maintained that he is proud of his military service, and would serve again if asked. But this is a loophole that needs to be fixed immediately. The men and women in uniform in Iraq and Afghanistan have served our nation proudly, and this is a terrible way to welcome them home.

So please take a minute now to send your Representatives a message, and tell them to support the Veterans Guaranteed Bonus Act.

On behalf of Jordan, and future wounded veterans, thank you.

Sincerely,



Paul Rieckhoff
Iraq Veteran
Executive Director
Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America

Newsworthy...

US, Iraq deal sees long-term US presence
I think everyone sort of saw this one coming. It's not a big surprise to me. Iraq may apparently be on permanent rotation. Gotta love being the Global Big Brother right?! If only they would do something for themselves...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071126/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_iraq

Terrorists Target Military Base
http://www.washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.d.../111260034/1001

Children of Fallen US Troops Recorded in Studios Across the Country on Christmas CD

ORLANDO, FL -- November 26, 2007 -- Operation Ensuring Christmas ...for Children of Fallen Troops 'A lil heroes Christmas' CD featuring children of the fallen is being re-released for the 2007 Christmas Holidays. The CD was originally released on Veterans Day, November 11, 2006. On Saturday October 7, 2006 (the anniversary of the start of Operation Enduring Freedom), children of fallen troops were in recording studios across the nation singing traditional Christmas songs and original songs written especially for them. The CD made #8 on Billboards new artist charts. The CD_s make great Christmas Gifts. 100% of the proceeds from the CD go to OEC and it's programs benefiting the Children. The children are also featured in OECs 'Jingle Bells' Video available for viewing at www.opchristmas.org

Multi-Platinum selling producer Veit Renn and OEC founder Robert McDowell produced the CD at Renns_ RMP Studios in Orlando. Renn Music Productions produced American Idol finalist and Academy Award winning Jennifer Hudsons first CD and Nsyncs Christmas CD which sold 7 million copies.


SEE ENTIRE PRESS RELEASE, PHOTO AND CONTACT INFO HERE:
http://www.mmdnewswire.com/children-fllen-2594.html

And also, SOMETHING POSITIVE from the news as well:
Maybe there is hope!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7105216.stm

When a woman loves a military man...

This was passed to me by a friend, and OBVIOUSLY written by someone in the life!
It's more truth than fiction.. actually, reading over it, it's all true!

1. If she wasn't emotional now, that is all about to change.
2.You getting higher rank coud just mean an automatic free lay.
3. Get her a pair of dog tags ASAP. This is crucial, she will never take them off.
4. Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault. (Though she will eventually understand.)
5. Most of the time, everything is your fault. (Especially when she is pregnant)
6. She WILL start talking like your guys an you talk, including using your last names.
7.Her patriotism could outdo most of your men...she will be proud...VERY proud.
8. Be ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an "I Love My ____" sticker eventually. (If you have sperate cars, hers will DEFINITLY have these)
9. She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang form the car's rear view mirror. (see 3)
10. Every week she'll have "another song" that makes her think of you when you're away. (And she'll cry to it, even when you're in the same room)
11. If you're married, she may know the base better than you do...don't take it personally.
12. You will catch her comparing your relationship with 'other couples" in the military constantly.
13. She'll make 5 million friends online and talk about them all the time because her old friends "just don't understand" like they do. <--How true is that??
14. Don't be shocked whe she drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her)
15. DO NOT, if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to maker her wait for you...(trust me men, YOU ARE WORTH every breath to these women, or they wouldn't be here)
16. Most women actually do LOVE it when you're sweaty and dirty, even if they're girlie girls, It's sexy as hell.
17. Only bring up the field once, say it clear and don't bring it up again. We will remember the time and dates like stone inside our minds. Don't remind us.
18. You ARE our hero. That isn't us being cute, it's us swelling with pride, feeling like princesses, everytime we glance over and see you standing there.
19. don't worry about waking her up when she is sleeping and you get a chance to call. Trust me she's NOT sleeping. If she is, she fell asleep next to the phone, waiting for your call all night.
20. leave at least 3 of your shirts for her...she'll wear them all the time and if she doesn't wear them in public, she WILL wear them to sleep.
21. No matter what she was like before, she is tough and harder than a rock now. She cn handle anything, she will get through it, tears or no tears.
22. Don't be discouraged or taken back from her strength. it comes with the territory. When in your arms, she's still your queen, soft and sweet.
23. Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while. It's okay, give it time, they will respect you.
24. EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might not understand the simple things you say to her.
25. tag chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls... random profane comments may come out of your queen's little mouth...it's okay, she's protecting her best asset...YOU.
26. She will spend hours to look good on cam & pics for you, this is just a pasttime until you come home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do come home.
27. Her favorite sentences from you start with "when i get home" or "when i get out".
Lastly guys,
28. No matter how much she's changed, never forget that you mean the world to her.

Pre Deployment Jitters

I guess because I've never done it before I just am a little nervous. I'm not focusing or obsessed on it, and I know I'll be fine thanks to the women I have on www.armywifechat.com
but it doesn't mean that it isn't on my mind sometimes!
So, after talking to DB (dear boyfriend, or damn boyfriend, depending on the day!), I was feeling a little nervous. I posted my anxieties and got some wonderful responses. I'm going to share the ladies' wisdom with anyone who's interested.

Original post:
Okay ladies. So, I talked to DB tonight, and we were joking a bit about how we can't even go a week without eachother. I miss him so much right now it hurts! (yeah, yeah I know WAH! right?)HOW am I gonna do a year?! I guess it's just hitting me a bit. I mean, I'm gonna do a year, because I don't want to NOT do it, you know, I don't want to be without him. I've dealt with the deployment of friends, and my daddy when I was REALLY little.. but never with someone I care so much about. (You know what I mean, it's different)
I talked with him and he said that it's okay for me to be scared, that I'll be just fine, and that we'll make it. (I know that!) I know we'll make it, I guess, I just want to do it right, and be the best I can for him. I know it's gonna take a lot of strength, and I guess just because I don't know much I'm scared. Thankfully, it's still far enough away that we can talk about it without it stirring us up too much. He said that soon, after Thanksgiving, (He's meeting the fam! EEK!) he is willing to sit down with me and explain it all to me, and tell me how he copes and what to expect from him on his end. Yknow sort of explain how he copes so that if he's not super mushy like he is here or something I won't fret. I guess, I know there's really no way to put it into words, and like love you just kinda go through it, but anything you have to tell me about how it's like, any encouragement, or any advice or anything you want to tell me is fine.
I think the reality just hit me. (I know it 'll REALLY hit later if you know what I mean!) I just want to be able to be strong for him, and for us, and to make it through. I'm a little scared.
*thanks for listening*

Kate

Responses:
I think it takes a great deal of faith and just knowing that no matter how hard it may seem, it will always be great because you have that person in your life one way or another. I would rather be 9000 miles away from Kevin and still "have him" than be sitting right next to him and not "have him." Does that make sense? Anyway. I know that you two are so much in love and I don't doubt that with that, and your incredible strength and compassion, you will survive a deployment.
_______________
I understand your being scared, but try not to be. If you two are really meant to be together, this will just be a bump in the road for you. It will be hard, there will be times you'll wonder how you're doing it (not if you can do it.. insert what Lisa said above, but how.. because it will hurt), but in the end you'll make it through. Often times the anticipation of something stressful can cause more stress and anxiety than the event itself. Don't worry yourself over something you can't control right now. I know its hard, but save your energy for when you'll need it most. <3
______________
Keep busy! Thats how you do it. THe busier you are the quicker the time will go. Have a GOOD group of friends who SUPPORT your relationship and women like those on here who understand what its like are great. Dont think that if you need to tlak or bitch or cry that it makes you weak caust it doesnt! Its good to cry and youl lhave days where you dont want to get up and thats fine. Let yourself feel whatever you need to. As long as you can pick yourself back up and move on then your doing great. Dont let anyone tell you that you cant do this, or that your weak cuase your sad. Set goals for yourself.
______________
Although X is not deployed and I don't have to worry about his life, he is 4500 miles away. I won't lie, I was a mess. October was a really, really bad month for me (That was about the third month) and what has helped me was just hanging with friends, trying to do my thing and I actually distanced myself from him. I see him as a super duper friend, and deep down I love him, I just won't let it surface too much and therefore hurt me too badly.
_____________
I guess, you just do it. It is scary and sucks alot sometimes, but there arent alot of options. For me I just took each day one at a time, and got through, and one day, you realize wow I can start planning for homecoming.
I was telling some of my friends getting ready for this upcoming deployment, really once you make it through the first week, it gets a little better. Thats how it was for me, I guess i got through that so I figured I did that so I can do another week, then before you know it it has been a month, some days are really hard and you really really hate it. Some days you are numb and kind of forget what is going on. Some days are hopefull and you realize you have done pretty well so far......And then the deployment passes and nothing in the world can beat a homecoming
_____________
I agree with the other girls, there will be days where you hurt and that's OK, but many of the others you will be just fine. The anticipation of him leaving and the week after leaving are the hardest. The temporary feeling of knumbness scared me at first, but then after I read about stages of deployment on the family and friend side, I realized that it was normal and I was right on track of doing OK. Once you get through that, it gets a little easier. My secret has been to keep a routine and treat myself once a month (pedicure, special treat, etc) to help me realize I made it through another month and I'm still OK.

All the AWC gals will be there for you and feel free to keep asking those questions.
____________

Of course it was momentary, I feel a lot better today! Plus Mike told me we have a smaller window for knowing when he'll deploy than we originally had, but he will tell me next week when I see him. He couldn't tell me over the phone because "this is not a secure line." (and of course, I won't be posting it on the net! OPSEC!)
Anyways, it helps to know, as long as you're not the type to count down the days you have left. I don't really do that, at least not now. I'm sure it will get harder as it gets closer. That's allright. A little at a time.

I'll continue to post deployment tips as I get them, so that I can pass them along to others!

- Kate

This is ridiculous...

I'm really just not gonna say anything on this one... just see for yourself.

Boy Scouts Drive to Collect Care Packages for Soldiers in Iraq "Too Political"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,311908,00.html

Reflections...

Goodness! I've been posting quite a bit lately! I guess I have a lot more to say than I thought. I will post more of my own thoughts as they come up, like I said right now things have been pretty calm. Mike's coming down to my parent's for Thanksgiving. He may bring a few stray soldiers along. I hope he does, I love the company! Not to mention, it's always nice to make sure they get a decent meal every now and again. He's finally settling into his apartment and handling life in living outside the barracks (having to pay bills and whatnot, don't have to do that in the barracks!)
So.. looking forward to Thanksgiving
After that things are gonna pick up, yuck!
I've noticed a trend here, so along with my thoughts I will post videos, pictures and news items that I think are important.

I was thinking about all the servicemembers I know today, and about why I am the way I am. I wasn't always this involved, though I've always been patriotic and supportive of our services.
I guess it must have started with my Dad being in the service. It was always normal for me. We didn't move around when I was young, because he was high ranking and I came along late enough. Plus, he enlisted as an officer, but never hung that over his men. Those men would die for him still, and for our family. I always played there at the base, and still love to go whenever I can. I Love those men! I swear, I have more fathers and uncles than anyone! But, I was a good kid! You never knew who was spying on you, was around, or had access to the people who were around! You're not paranoid if it's true.
Then I swore military men off... dumb move. My mom swore off doctors and married one! (EEK!) I was engaged to an ex sailor for a while (didn't even occur to me till recently that HE was military! LOL) then dated a soldier, now i'm dating another one, and my brother joined up. SO, i've been sucked back into the vortex!
BUT, even before I was dating a soldier, I adopted a couple from www.soldiersangels.com
I originally wanted to do forensic psychology, now all I want to do is work with the military population.
I guess maybe my upbringing influenced me more than I thought.
Regardless, I'm proud of these men and women and all they do, and proud to be surrounded by them!

Another of our "Few Good Men"

Our boys never cease to amaze me.


Soldier on Leave From Iraq Runs for Wounded Comrades
Thursday , November 15, 2007

14 months in Iraq and another eight in Afghanistan, one would think Mike Kielty would spend his two-week leave relaxing, but the U.S. soldier instead is running the upcoming Philadelphia Marathon for a good cause.

Kielty, 30, has been training for months in Afghanistan to run the marathon on Sunday to raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project, which benefits disabled and wounded troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. So far, he has raised over $55,000.


In addition to running for the Wounded Warrior Project, Kielty also is raising money for charities honoring three former high school classmates who were killed in Iraq.

"I want to help raise awareness about the great sacrifice they made," Kielty said.

Kielty's Race for Heroes is featured in the "Special Edition" section of www.takepride.com, which provides donation information.

I'm so glad to see this!

This is what I want to do! (We'll see how that goes.) Regardless, how funny that on the same day I post in their words this comes out! Good news! (Well, it's a start right?)

America's war returnees: many troubles but more help
By Gordon Lubold
Wed Nov 14, 3:00 AM ET


Washington - Nearly five years into the war in Iraq, the US Army has taken steps to improve the process by which it screens soldiers returning from war.

ADVERTISEMENT

Many have trouble transitioning from combat dangers to a normal routine at home. But sometimes just identifying the problem is the issue.

The Army has improved its process by adding a second mental-health assessment three to six months after its initial screening, which is completed as soon as a soldier returns from war. This second screening has allowed the Army to unmask troubling trends among its soldiers: a fourfold increase in relationship problems compared with those reported in the first assessment, a surge of major depression among many, and increased alcohol abuse.

"The whole idea is [that] we're trying to catch these problems early, before they're a diagnosable condition, and hopefully intervene and prevent it from becoming that," said Col. Charles Milliken, an Army psychiatrist, during a recent Army briefing with reporters.

For example, about 3.5 percent of active-duty soldiers in the first screening reported relationship problems. In the reassessment of the same soldiers, taken six months later, that number jumped to about 14 percent, according to Dr. Milliken and two other Army medical officials in an article published Wednesday in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Ditto for active-duty soldiers reporting problems with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, the medical officials found. On the initial assessment, 11.8 percent reported problems relating to the disorder; that number increased to 16.7 percent on the second assessment. Likewise, those soldiers reporting depression problems rose from 4.7 percent to 10.3 percent. In the second screening, as many as 12 percent said they were misusing alcohol. Overall, soldiers seen as being at risk for mental-health problems jumped from 17 percent to 27 percent.

Reports of problems increased even more dramatically among Army reservists, but Army officials believe much of that rise stems from the perception that their healthcare coverage will expire sooner than that of active-duty soldiers. So, even though reservists' medical coverage continues after their return, they are more likely to report problems during the second assessment, Army officials speculate. The study was based on responses from more than 88,000 soldiers.

The transition from combat to home has always been tricky. The unexpected length of the war in Iraq has posed additional challenges for the Defense Department, whose readjustment programs were initially unprepared for the depth and number of problems.

Many programs within the unit rely on military chaplains who prepare soldiers for the transition while they are still deployed. Typical is a soldier who returns home after a year and attempts to reassert his authority.

"That leads to immediate conflict with the family, who has done just fine without the soldier and doesn't like the fact that he is injecting himself in their business," writes Maj. Craig Whiteside, an Army battalion executive officer nearing the end of a 15-month deployment to an area south of Baghdad, in an e-mail. "I definitely learned this a long time ago and know better, but our chaplain did a great job laying it out."

The kinds of problems soldiers are experiencing don't typically emerge until after the elation of returning home subsides and the soldier settles into his or her normal routine, Army officials say.

New Defense Department initiatives will allow even more health screenings of all soldiers every year. But the Army has have to walk a fine line when it comes to screening soldiers because there is such a thing as "overscreening," Army officials say.

"If we ask them too many times 'Are you having symptoms?' we might reinforce them," says Army Brig. Gen. Stephen Jones, the assistant surgeon general for force projection, US Army Medical Command, during the same briefing with reporters, held last week in anticipation of the release of the study.

As prospects for a quick end to the war in Iraq evaporated, officials inside and outside the Defense Department began to voice doubts about the military's post-combat approach to mental health. In 2005, the military started a pilot program of its second-screening program and implemented it across the board in 2006. Last year, Congress mandated the creation of a group later called the Defense Department Task Force on Mental Health, which made nearly 100 recommendations to fix or improve the Pentagon's system.

But changing the culture represents one of the biggest hurdles for military officials. Soldiers, Marines, and other troops have long been imbued with tough training in a culture that encouraged troops to suck it up rather than to seek counseling.

Now, the Defense Department is trying to put mental health on equal footing with physical fitness and diminish the cultural stigma of seeking help.

The Army's "Battlemind" program, for example, occurs months after a soldier returns from combat. The training attempts to recognize common behavior among returning troops that can lead to bigger problems down the road, even when those soldiers don't express their concerns about battle-related stress.

The fact that soldiers were willing to report their problems as much as they did in the second assessment suggests the Army has made progress, General Jones says. "I think the study shows that we've done a pretty good job of reducing the stigma."

The study did not attempt to assess the effect of longer deployments, especially on soldiers on their third or fourth trip to Iraq.

"Undoubtedly, none of these guys will go home the same guy who came over," Major Whiteside writes in his e-mail. "Some of that is for the good, some of it is not so good."

Why Soldiers Don't Talk About It...

I'm not going to put much here. It's not my place to. I found this heartwarming. This is a soldier's words, not mine. I won't presume to be able to put words to it for them.

Military Girlfriends

You Don't Know Me...
(*Please note that I am not the Author of this!)

You don't know me but I am the girl that sits in the back of your classroom. You think that I don't care and you treat me as a waste of space because I don't seem to listen to you or participate in discussions. What you don't know is that I am listening, but I have more on my mind than you can possibly imagine. I don't participate in discussions because I know that when certain topics come up I will not be able to control my emotions.

You don't know me but I am the employee that never seems to get a task done. This is because to you, I am too concerned with my cell phone to get any work done, for you see I am always checking it. What you don't know is that it isn't who is calling me, but who isn't calling me. You have no idea that I haven't heard anything, good or bad news, for almost a week now...no signs of life, no warm words.

You don't know me, but I am your neighbor. You think that I am an awkward young teenager because you never see me going out or with friends just coming home after work with this depressing look on my face. You know that I live practically alone, yet you always see me carrying massive amounts of food and supplies into my home. What you don't know is that I send that food to him. I spend my nights putting together care packages instead of getting drunk. I don't go out because he might call and I would never miss a chance for a two minute conversation.

You don't know me but I am your daughter. You say to me that I am still a child, who doesn't know what I want. You tell me I am crazy for wanting to follow a man that I love across the world and back. In fact, you tell me that I do not even know what love is. What you don't know is that every negative word and every criticism cuts me deep, even if you refuse to notice. Every fiber of my being longs for him while he is gone and my loves runs deeper than any others, because I may never have the chance to show the world.

You don't know my but you are my friend. You have known me for years, but you still don't know me at all. You criticize me for growing up to fast. You get tired of hearing about him and how much I love him. You don't understand why I am no longer the person I was a year ago. What you don't realize is that every day I have to worry about never seeing him again. A worry like that can age you very quickly. You don't see the pain in my eyes when you fight or complain about your boyfriend. You take advantage of your time together and have no idea how much that kills me. For you see, I would give anything to spend just one moment longer with him.

You don't know me but I am your fellow American. You see me as some teenage girl who cares more about her life than her world. You see me as ignorant for not reading the papers or watching the news. Because I am still a teenager you assume that I do not support this country or its people. What you don't know is that I refuse to watch the news and read the paper because I have to fear seeing his name or face. I have to worry about him and his friends every single moment of my life. You don't understand that I now live my life by, "No news is good news." What you choose to not see is that I in fact have more pride in this country and him that I tear up during our national anthem. You do not see the look in my eyes anytime I see an American Flag. You do not see the ribbon I wear swearing to be loyal and faithful to him.

You do not know me but I am your love. Although you know me best, you still do not know me very well. For you see we don't see each other and when we do it is only for a short time. You see me as strong, but deep down I am weak without you. You see me as brave, but I am truly a coward. You do not see me struggling to get up every morning without you. You also do not see the way your love for me inspires me to do great things. You do not see the way your sacrifice has shown me what is important in life. You do not see the way I light up when the phone rings. Or the feelings that I get, knowing you are coming home to me. You are my best friend, my life, my love, and my Soldier. You mean the world to me, even though we hardly know each other. Yet despite this unfamiliarity, I know who I want to spend my life with and it is you.

Too bad you don't know me....
For I am one of the strongest people out there
I am in love with a United States Soldier


To all who love those in the military. Your strength is truly amazing. Thank you.

An Important Lesson...

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha
Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School
in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten.

On the first day of school, with permission of the school
superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she
took all of the desks out of the classroom.

The kids came into first period, they walked in, there were no
desks. They obviously looked around and said, "Ms. Cothren,
where're our desks?" And she said, "You can't have a desk until
you tell me how you earn them."

They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."

"No," she said.
"Maybe it's our behavior."

And she told them, "No, it's not even your behavior."
And so they came and went in the first period, still no desks in
the Classroom. Second period, same thing. Third period, the
same. By early afternoon television news crews had gathered in
Ms. Cothren's class to find out about this crazy teacher who had
taken all the desks out of the classroom. The last period of
the day, Martha Cothren gathered her class. They were at this
time sitting on the floor around the sides of the room. And she
says,
"Throughout the day no one has really understood how you earn
the desks that sit in this classroom ordinarily." She said, "Now
I'm going to tell you."

Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened
it, and as she did 27 U.S. Veterans, wearing their uniforms,
walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk.
And they placed those school desks in rows, and then they stood
along the wall. And by the time they had finished placing those
desks, those kids for the first time, I think perhaps in their
lives understood how they earned those desks.

Martha said, "You don't have to earn those desks. These guys
did it for you. They put them out there for you, but it's up to
you to sit here responsibly to learn, to be good students and
good citizens, because they paid a price for you to have that
desk, and don't ever forget it."

It is the VETERAN , not the preacher, who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the VETERAN , not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the VETERAN , not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the VETERAN , not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to assemble.
It is the VETERAN , not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the VETERAN , not the politician, Who has given us the right to vote.

Remember our soldiers!!!! Please say a prayer for them!

Those Who Serve...

A lovely tribute video... I'm sure I'll post videos and Pics from time to time.

Army Families are Army Strong

HOOAH! Thank you to the Silent Ranks- those who stand behind our soldiers!

Army Communication...

Caption: "So the memo said 'Twenty one GNU salute' huh?"


The Army (brace yourselves here) constantly has micommunications.
I know (gasp!).
Crazy huh?

Well, Mike didn't have school today like he was told, it starts tomorrow!
At least he got some stuff done for his new apt. moving stuff and whatnot so it wasn't a total waste, but for us the first day apart is always the hardest. From there we're fine. I managed to keep myself busy today, but bless his little heart I just got a call and he sounds so sad! "I miss you.I know it's because now I can conentrate on it." Poor guy. He's just thinking about how he COULD have had another day. To us, these days are precious because he's stateside. (and in the Army life, EVERY day is precious! You never know what's going to happen!) Plus, it's getting harder to see eachother with gas being so high ($3.09!) and exercises and responsibilities requiring him to be near Ft.XXX more often, plus he's got some other several week classes coming up. I guess he's just feeling it all (we both are!).
Tough guy that he is doesn't show it and doesn't focus on it, but he's really good about making me feel cared for, loved, and missed (without being too mushy!)
He'll be fine, I just feel for him. He's got a lot going on and I know feels robbed of a day with me. (Not to say that I don't miss him too!)Sometimes, in this life you don't know how many days you have left till this order or that order or moving here or there. We're lucky that right now is pretty stable, but I can tell we're both starting to feel the pressure of it all. He won't admit it, and probably doesn't even realize it, which is great. I'm grateful for that.
I try not to "countdown"- that's the worst thing you can do. You waste a lot of time doing that, but when stuff like this comes up I can't help but get a little bit angry. That's when I start to think about "Oh Gosh, only X days/months left!" but then I get a hold of myself and realize that dates change all the time and not to focus on it.
Plus, I reminded him (and myself) that he'll be with my family for Thanksgiving, so we'll see eachother soon. (After that is another two week school! Most likely with very little communication, but for that one I knew about it and pre-wrote some letters for each day.) < I learned a lot of great tricks and tips from my mom!
Another day in the life of the service...
Onward and Upward! We'll take it one day at a time until deployment happens, and then well.. we'll still take it one day at a time!

And so it begins... (with PTSD resources)

I'm going to go on a tangent for one moment.

Let me clarify here because this is something that irritates me:
Post Traumatic Stress- NORMAL reaction to trauma. Lasts only about 3 months (hence the 3 month window for home adjustment.)

Acute Stress- basically the beginnings of PTSD.

Post Traumatic Stress DISORDER- This disorder has a million names depending upon the generation you ask: Battle Fatigue, Battle Stress, Combat Stress, Shell Shock... There are literally at LEAST 26 names for it!
Basically this is the PTS symptoms that last 6 months or longer. Essentially, the individual is "stuck" in their warzone personality. Constantly being alert, hyped up on adrenaline (some seek activities that are dangerous to get that "high"), always on edge. They essentially have the "normal" reactions for an "abnormal" length of time and it starts to interfere with real life.

*Also it IS possible for families to get what is called "Vicarous Traumatization." They get sympathy pains so to speak, develop the symptoms, and the two individuals pass it back and forth and make eachother worse!



A good resource is the National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at http://www.ncptsd.com

Also, check out the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: it's a workbook for those who prefer to do it themselves (and can be used with a therapist as well)
http://www.amazon.com/Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder-Sourcebook-Schiraldi/dp/0737302658

Also, there is a book written by a soldier for other soldiers about dealing with PTSD:
http://www.amazon.com/Down-Range-Bridget-Ph-D-Cantrell/dp/1933150068/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1196447155&sr=1-1

ANYONE WHO HAS TROUBLE WITH PTSD SHOULD NOT SUFFER NEEDLESSLY. PLEASE GET THE HELP YOU NEED- YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OR AFRAID OF <3

*climbs off her soapbox* (Can you see this is my passion?)

[Editorial Post Script] Recently there has been speculation around me by many I know about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It most definitively exists. Severity spans the spectrum. Is it overdiagnosed? Well, yes. HOWEVER, it is very much real, and very difficult to go through alone. It does not make one weak.
Especially from the older generations I hear skepticism. What I have to say to them is this:
There has been much study, speculation and observation about why Vietnam veterans and Iraqi veterans have higher incidences of PTSD than those of the WWII era.
The answer is in societal context. In WWII- everyone pitched in, neighbors knew one another, "all gave some, and some gave all", and these soldiers were welcomed home as heroes. It was understood that sometimes these things are necessary. Although, the lower rates may ALSO be lack of reporting or seeking help.(I am by no means stating that this was a perfect era.)
Vietnam- soldiers were spit upon, protested against, and called "murderers". The government pulled the rug out from underneath them, and they were made to feel ashamed.
Now- There is much confusion. There is social unrest- protests (FOR and AGAINST the war), mixed signals- killing is a sin, and bad, but sometimes necessary, you're a murderer, you're a hero- how could they NOT be confused?! They do not have the support of eras past... and even worse they get "Thank you" in one moment and "Screw you" the next. Not to mention, the VA is overloaded, the red tape is ridiculous, the frustration and the egos prevent them from getting help, and they often feel alone, misunderstood, "different" (well of course, you're not the same!) and unfortunately, don't know where to go from there.
It's a sad situation, but we're working on it!
_______________________________________________________________

So, Mike does NOT have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He does however, act like a normal human being who's been in a war zone. He sleeps with his eyes partially open (REALLY weird), and is quite alert to his surroundings, and the situations he puts himself in.
When he enters a room he automatically surveys who is in the room, how they are behaving, where I am (he's quite protective, but not in a suffocating way) and the nearest exit, and he calculates the best route to get there. Again, NORMAL for someone who's been there.

Okay, back to my original subject. Mike was here to spend his Veteran's Day four day weekend with me. We had a great time just relaxing together (barring some short, normal, "lover's quarrels"), I had finished my major school exam so I took the weekend off completely, we just spent time together.
Because it was Veteran's Day there, as always, on TV was a lot of Military story type shows- weapons advancements, soldier's stories from war- you know the type. Typical Vet's Day programming. Mike was watching "Band of Bloggers" which is a show about soldiers downrange and their videos and footage that they make. It has some real footage of stuff in it. I simply asked him if he takes pictures when he's there. He said no.

And that's when it started... Something I've NEVER seen him do before:
He broke into a cold sweat (it was 65 degrees in my house, I was in a sweatshirt). He got VERY quiet and just stared at the TV. The look in his eyes is hard to describe, it's like he was elsewhere. He says it wasn't a "flashback", just memories. Thankfully, I realized very quickly what was going on. I turned off the TV and got a cloth to wipe his face. He just sat there as I washed his face, and then he started telling stories. So, I just listened. After a good while, I got him to a hot shower and we watched a Disney flick- something harmless to distract us both.
I chalked it up to the footage on the film. Oddly enough, he says that my question is what eventually "triggered" this. (He hates it when I use that word.)
I told him that it was fine to tell me "I don't want to go there." or "I can feel it coming, I need to be left alone for a bit." To keep me from being inadvertently intrusive. I ask a lot of questions out of natural curiosity.

Oddly enough, it happened AGAIN. I can't remember what we were watching, and I can't remember what I said, but again it was benign (this time actually something unrelated.) I did the same thing, reminded him to TELL Me when he's starting to feel this way- he stated if he realizes it he will.

And then, today, We were watching something on Medal of Honor recipients. There was no footage, just the men in their suits and medals speaking of their experiences. He started the cold sweat, tensed up, and got quiet. Now that I've started to understand I just talked to him to bring him back to me, asked him if he was okay, and things were fine.

He's never done this before now, at X amount of months. Now that the trainings are amping up I think (though not conscious on his part) that it's becoming more "real" for him. He denies this, and it ultimately doesn't matter. Just a hypothesis on my part as this, or anything close to it has NEVER been an issue.
I just hope that it doesn't continue. It can't be comfortable for him. The hardest part is that neither of us really KNOWS what will trigger it (or if it was just a "fluke" though I highly doubt that.) Because, other than some benign questions and the mention of wartime stories the three episodes had nothing in common. He says my questions spark it, I personally think it's the stimulus of hearing and remembering experiences.
Again, it's odd, because the other day he was watching something on Marines in Iraq, with some graphic footage and was FINE. So, I guess I just keep in mind what to do when it happens.
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And today, my boyfriend gave me a HUGE complement and didn't even know it. He gave me SUCH encouragement.
I've stated before that I want to work with the Military population. Particularly soldiers, but I'm open to working with their families- deployment phases, ways to connect, Marriages, reintegration to US society, PTSD, Veteran's issues, etc. I want to do it all.
We were watching a show, as I mentioned above, on Medal of Honor recipients. One in particular, an elderly man, was speaking of the medal- he stated that he was proud to wear it not to take credit for what was done, but to simply represent all of those who were in it with him and had nobody to bear witness. For all of those who passed fighting, for all of those who weren't recognized, he was glad to represent them.
He then got a faraway look on his face, his eyes teared up, he looked stern and seasoned by what he had seen, and yet soft at the same time- like he had lost many sons and brothers (and indeed, as many will tell you, he had).
All I said was "THAT face right there is the reason this is my passion."
Mike just got quiet and said "Well, good, at least one person understands."

THAT was the biggest complement I could have ever recieved. I will most likely carry that simple phrase, uttered casually in passing, with me for the rest of my life and my career.

The beginning of change...

So I consider us basically in Pre-Deployment phase one- First Stage: Learning of the Deployment (see my other post on "Phases of Deployment".) He's a few months from deploying to we don't know where.

Really, not a whole lot is going on now. We (well, he) try not to think about it.
I'm basically trying to prepare with ideas for care packages, reassurance for him that I'm here for him, ideas that I have to send him and to do while he's gone (scrapbook of important life events here in the U.S. while he's gone) you get the idea. It doesn't help that we both love action flicks and Military history so we end up watching that stuff and it sparks discussion, at least on my part.
I remind him that I'm new to this and just running ideas by him while he's here. He seems to think I'll be fine, and we'll just jump into the deep end with both feet so to speak. Only way out is through I guess, so in that respect, really he's right.
Really, when hearing of it I didn't freak out. I was sad I guess, but really, it's just part of our reality. It sucks, but it is part of the life. I'm sure I'll feel much different once it's closer.
Right now is a little odd, because it's X months away they're starting to amp up trainings and schools, ranges, night fires, and whatnot so it's getting a bit more difficult. He's starting to have weekend exercises and LOTS to do to prepare. That makes it a little more real for me.
I'm not so sure it does for him yet, He's good at putting things in little boxes in his head and closing the lid. I'm not quite a pro at that yet!

It is said that some soldiers look forward to it. I've talked to him a bit. It's not so much that he looks forward to it, but it IS part of his job and the sooner it starts the sooner it ends. At least, that's what I get from what he says.
I know also that downrange (that's the term for over there in the sandbox) they have regimented things to do, it's more orderly per se than it is here stateside. They have a routine and X amount of tasks to do. After said tasks are done, it's their time. They don't have to really think or make many decisions. (Again, I'm not experienced in this, just from my perspective of what is said to me.)Plus, they get to do what they're trained to do, utilize their skills... I would look forward to it too in that respect!

I guess for me, it's just reality, but at the same time I want to make sure he knows that I'm here to support him. I just want to do it "right", not cause problems on accident- that kind of thing. Though, it seems that my experience with the military population helps a lot here. He says that I understand a lot more than a lot of girls do, and that it's nice to not have to explain EVERYTHING all the time! He can even talk in acronyms and (usually) I understand him! I'm a little scared, but mostly because it's new territory and because I care about him and don't want any harm to come to him.

All in due time, for now we continue life as abnormal! (It's never normal here!)

OPSEC and PERSEC

OPSEC = Operational Security

These are certain rules regarding information that can and cannot be given out regarding troops, movements, and other information.
I will be following OPSEC so some of my posts may seem a bit vague at times.
Even in this day and age "Loose lips sink ships" (or delay R&R, offset movements, etc. Point being- loose lips are BAD!)
You can find the OPSEC rules here: http://www.marriedtothearmy.com/army_101_opsec.htm

PERSEC= Personal Security

I may from time to time mention PERSEC. My mom and I use this term, though it's doubtful we made it up. I'm not sure where we got it!
Basically, use common sense when your man's away (and preferably always).
The yellow ribbons on cars are lovely, so are the "half my heart is in Iraq, Kuwait, etc." Stickers. They're lovely on homes too.. however, they make you a prime target. They announce to everyone that you're on your own for a good while. Be careful what information you make public and what information you may be sending with the best of intentions!

My friend Stacey (who owns Marriedtothearmy.com) puts it best:
PERSEC is also known as personal security. Like OPSEC, this involves guarding the information that you know. Do not give out your soldier’s name along with rank. This includes blacking out his name tape and rank in pictures. If he is in a special operations unit, you should also black out any unit affiliation.

Be vague about your personal information as an Army wife or Army family member on the internet [and elsewhere]. This is plain common sense in just every day life – regardless of if your family member is in the military.

The Phases of Deployment

This is a (relatively) predictable pattern of events that happen pre and post deployment. Like the stages of grieving it doesn't necessarily happen the same for everyone.
This information courtesy of http://www.marriedtothearmy.com/ - check it out!

Dealing with the Emotional Roller Coaster of Deployment
In this day and time, if you are the spouse of an Army soldier, you have either already dealt with a deployment or will be dealing with one in the future. In the past, many Army spouses were able to make it through an entire enlistment without enduring a deployment separation. Today, with continuing operations in Iraq and Afghanistan with no end in sight, it is not likely to happen.

The best thing you can do as an Army wife is to prepare for the deployment and the many obstacles it can deliver. There are emotional stages that are common for Army wives to endure during the separation from their spouse. Although these stages are the most common, do not be alarmed if you either skip a stage or stay in one stage for a longer period than stated.

It should also be noted that if you are having a difficult time functioning through the deployment to the point where you cry for days on end, you cannot get out of bed or it dramatically interferes with your ability to handle day to day tasks, you should seek the help of a professional. The unit chaplain is always available if you need to talk. Tricare also covers counseling with the possibility of having eight visits before needing to be referred by your PCM (Primary Care Manager). Check with your regional Tricare office for specific information for your case. You can also contact www.militaryonesource.com for a referral.

First Stage: Learning of the Deployment
Depending on your husband’s unit, you could have months of notice before they deploy or as little as a few hours. Your first reaction could very well be shock, disbelief and a feeling of helplessness. You may have thoughts run through your head about flying off to another country and disappearing. Although this is common, it’s NOT recommended! They will find you and then not only will he be deployed, he will probably serve jail time as well and have pay and rank stripped from him.

Back to emotions….it is not uncommon as the deployment nears to have separation anxieties. In some, this can cause you to cling to your spouse in every available moment. In others, you may find that you are fighting with your spouse more than ever. Both of these situations are normal. You may also find yourself preparing a long honey-do list for your spouse. It can be very intimidating to think of all of the things your husband typically handles that he will not be around to do. Make yourself a list of these things and sit down together to discuss the best way to handle them.

Your soldier may actually even be looking forward to this deployment. This is, after all, what he has been training for since he entered the Army. As an Army wife, it can be very hard to hear that your husband is looking forward to the deployment. Remember that he is looking forward to the chance to utilize his skills; he is not looking forward to being away from his family. It is very important that he has a bond with the other soldiers in his unit. He may begin spending more time with these soldiers before deployment and this can cause tension as you generally want this time to be just for your family. Just remember unit cohesion and morale is essential to their success.

It is also normal for you to get to the point of just wanting him to leave so you can get on with things and get the deployment over with as quickly as possible. Do not feel guilty because this thought entered your head - it is normal!

Second Stage: The Day He Leaves and The First Weeks That Follow
This can be by far the most difficult stage. Saying goodbye to your spouse knowing that it will be the last time you see him for a prolonged time period is emotionally and physically exhausting. Understandingly, many also have the fear that their spouse may never return home alive or at the very least will be a different person upon his return. While you shouldn’t dwell on these fears, it is normal to have them. One thing that was somewhat comforting to me was an article I found comparing how many people in the United States died each day in car accidents. Now I know you’re thinking how can that be comforting? Every life lost in war (or any other time) is a great tragedy and one I hope I don’t have to endure. But statistically, you have a greater chance of being killed in a car accident while he is deployed than he has of dying during the deployment. If the news exploited each car accident death as they do the death of each soldier, none of us would probably ever drive again.

During this time period, you can expect to experience emotions from one extreme to the other. You may be sad one minute, inconsolable the next and angry at him the next. You may be in denial about the deployment and still wait for him to walk through the door each night. You may have trouble sleeping and you may be anxious about your personal security, particularly if you are living by yourself for the first time in quite some time. This happened to me. After my husband deployed, I realized I was living alone for the first time ever. I went from my parent’s home to sharing apartments with roommates in college to getting married and living with my husband. It was quite an adjustment for me. Just about any emotion you have during this time period is normal. Give yourself time to adjust to the new situation and get yourself into a routine.

Third Stage: From Month One Until The Month He Returns
This stage can also carry a variety of emotions but at the end of the first month, you should begin to find yourself in a routine and functioning through a normal lifestyle. In fact, during this stage, it is not uncommon to feel guilty that you are able to continue to do things you enjoy while your husband is deployed. You’ll find that while he is still on your mind and of course in your heart, you aren’t pondering him twenty four hours a day as you most likely were in the first few weeks. By this time, you should begin to have some communication with him, whether by phone, email or mail. Email is a great asset to deployments as you are able to communicate with your soldier as often as you would like rather than having to wait on a phone call from him.

Many spouses say that one of the most frustrating things surrounding deployments is that phone calls must be initiated by him. This can give you a feeling of having to be trapped in your home and a missed phone call can be absolutely devastating. I highly recommend investing in a cell phone and instructing your husband to always call your cell phone. If this is not possible, place call forwarding on your phone for just a few dollars a month to ensure you won’t miss his call.

When you do communicate with your spouse, do your best to keep things positive. A bad conversation during deployment can cause negative feelings that last a long time. And the fact is, you have no idea when he may be able to call back. While you should be open with your spouse, try not to overload him with problems that he cannot help to fix. I am by no means saying to hide these things from him, but if possible address them quickly and then move on to more pleasant subjects. Make the most of the time you have on the phone with him.

During this time, it is important to communicate as often as possible whether through phone, email or mail. And don’t forget those care packages. While in many locations, the soldiers have access to a PX to buy essentials, it is nothing compared to receiving a package or even just a card from home. Don’t let your soldier be the one who isn’t receiving anything while he is deployed. Packages do not have to be expensive to put together. The post office offers priority packing materials for free that you can even go online and order to have them shipped to your home. They also have two priority flat rate boxes. No matter how much these boxes weigh, the price to ship them will be the same. Use this to your advantage and cram it full of your soldier’s favorite things! Your FRG should be able to give you a list of things that are acceptable to send to his specific location.

It is very important that you have support in one form or another while he is gone. This can come from others with deployed spouses (which in my opinion is best), from family and friends and through your FRG. Be sure to go to every FRG meeting and ensure they have all of your contact information at all times. You don’t want to miss out on an important announcement because they can’t find you. Many FRGs have a variety of activities and events that you can participate in while your soldier is gone. The base also has volunteer opportunities available. No matter what you decide, be sure to have that support and let people know when you need their help. Many people are more than willing to help but just don’t know what to offer. Let them know what is best for you!

During this time period, one of the most damaging occurrences to morale is the rumors. There may be rumors that the unit is coming home earlier than expected, that a deployed soldier is cheating on his spouse or vice versa. Do not participate in the rumor mill. If you hear rumors specifically about his unit, contact your FRG leader to set it straight. Rumors will only cause negative feelings in the long run. Do not feed into them.

Redeployment: Last Month of Deployment
You’re in the home stretch now. It won’t be long before you see your husband walking (or running!) towards you with open arms. That will be a moment and an experience you won’t soon forget. Unfortunately, this can be the most stressful part of the deployment for many spouses. Personally, I would rather go through him leaving again than the last month of deployment. The range of emotions will be back – but in a different way. You will be nervous, excited, and anxious all at once. You may get to the point of just being angry and frustrated as the days just seem to absolutely drag. This is one time during the deployment when it is critical that you keep yourself busy.

Many wives begin to look at the list of the things they wanted to accomplish while he was gone and say where did the time go? If you’re in the beginning of the deployment or haven’t endured one yet, you’re probably thinking “yeah, right” but it will happen! Don’t stress yourself out too much about trying to cram everything into the last month. Your husband wants to see you and your family – he will not care that the hardwood floors have not been stripped and redone. Promise!

Everyone feels differently about this next part. I will give you my opinion on it. When your husband returns, you need to decide what type of homecoming he is going to have. It has been my experience that the simpler it is, the better. If you would like to have a big blow-out when he comes home, save it for a few weeks after he returns and has had time to acclimate to his surroundings again. He may want to avoid crowds, he may just want to stay home or he may be ready to go – you just don’t know. Also, when my husband returns, I am always the only one there to meet him. I feel it is very important that we have at the very least a few days with just the two of us to get to know each other again and to readjust. Only after this period, do we begin inviting family over or going to see them. I let him do this on his schedule – not mine. The other part of this is that in the first few days of his return, it may not even feel real to you. You may actually wake up in the middle of the night and be a bit scared at first when you realize someone is there with you.

Also prepare yourself for the fact that your house will most likely look like a tornado hit it when he returns home. Mine always does and I’ve just learned to deal with it for a few weeks before I start asking him to pick his stuff up and help out around the house. You may also find that your husband is one who needs to get right back into the routine. He may be one who needs to know he is needed and one way to help him with this is to let him help with things around the house. If he was walking the dog before, let him start doing it again. Let him know he has been missed!

Regardless, enjoy this time with your husband and reuniting again as a family. Be proud of yourself for making it through the separation and hopefully surviving this deployment with an even stronger marriage than you had before the deployment.

How can you help our troops?

"The Nation that forgets its protectors will itself be forgotten."

I made this originally as a Christmas Ideas list, but really, a lot of these are things you can do year round!

I have decided that this year I'm going to do something charitable to support the troops instead of buying gifts. Here's a list of places and things you can look into:

Non-Troop Options:
Salvation Army
Angel Tree (love this one!)
Church Functions or Charities
Local HospitalsSoup Kitchens, or Homeless shelters also often need help
Clothing Donations, Toy Donations (Toys for Tots, or lots of Malls have Drop Boxes)
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Supporting Our Military:
Write a soldier who doesn't get mail:
http://www.soldiersangels.com/ -adopt a soldier as a pen pal!
http://www.adoptaussoldier.com/- adopt a US soldier as a pen pal here too!
http://www.emailourmilitary.com/ - email our troops! (This works year round!)
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Help Our Injured Soldiers:
*Please note that there is an email going around concerning sending cards to "Any Injured Soldier" at Walter Reeed- they cannot accept these. They had this to say:
"In addition, the U.S. Postal Service is no longer accepting "Any Service Member" or "A Recovering American Soldier" letters or packages. Mail to "Any Service Member" that is deposited into a collection box will not be delivered.Instead of sending an “Any Wounded Soldier” letter or package to Walter Reed, please consider making a donation to one of the more than 300 nonprofit organizations dedicated to helping our troops and their families listed on the "America Supports You" website, www.americasupportsyou.mil
Other organizations that offer means of showing your support for our troops or assist wounded servicemembers and their families include:

http://www.usocares.org/
http://www4.army.mil/ocpa/tooursoldiers/
http://www.redcross.org

For individuals without computer access, your local military installation, the local National Guard or military reserve unit in your area may offer the best alternative to show your support to our returning troops and their families. Walter Reed Army Medical Center will continue to receive process and deliver all mail that is addressed to a specific individual.

Although Walter Reed isn't accepting gifts the Red Cross has stated that small gifts can be sent to patients in that facility through them:
The Walter Reed Center is ONLY accepting phone cards, CDs, individual packets of candy, things like that; which they will distribute among the soldiers (as they have a lot of in and out patients). They are not accepting holiday cards as they don't have the human resources to distribute them.

You may send your packets to:
American Red Cross
Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20307-5000"

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Provide Help to Organizations who get packages and mail to those who need it (due to the "Any Soldier" Mail Ban)
www.anysoldier.com -sends packages and mail
http://www.packagesfromhome.org/ < similar to the "any soldier" stuff
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Help provide proper and upgraded armor for our troops:
www.operationhelmet.com
http://www.armor4troops.org/
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Donate to help support the troops:
www.cellphonesforsoldiers.com- donate old cell phones to be refurbished and given to soldiers to call home!
www.defendingfreedom.net < "With our Nevada Benefits Foundation Defending Freedom™ wristbands we have found a way to keep our troops always in our hearts and thoughts while showing continued support and honoring their sacrifices. We have "banded together" worldwide in pride and patriotism recognizing that we will never forget about the sacrifices made by the brave men and women fighting to defend our freedom. 100% of our proceeds go to military charities to support all men, women and children of troops themselves and their families. Some of the charities we have donated to include The Armed Forces Relief Trust, The Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund, USO Wounded Warrior Project of North Carolina, Children of Fallen Soldiers Relief Fund, Soldier Ride, and The Fallen Patriot Fund. We also provide assistance to other military charities by donating our defending freedom™ wristbands for them to sell or keep. By making these contributions we are the one place that the families of the troops and the troops themselves know they can come to for support. "
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Help A fallen Soldier's Widow and Children, Military Families:
www.snowballexpress.org
"The mission of Snowball Express, an all-volunteer, non-profit organization, is to help create new memories and a few days of joy for lives that have been shattered by the loss of their fallen hero. It is America's chance to give a gift of gratitude to the children and spouses of those men and women in the U.S. Armed Forces who made the ultimate sacrifice since September 11, 2001. Snowball Express started just last year, and last December we flew 900 grieving family members from all across America to Southern California for an unforgettable holiday party. Kids and widows discovered they weren't alone. And they found they weren't forgotten. It was a totally volunteer effort which came together in just a few months to create the largest all-expense-paid gathering for the families of our fallen warriors since 9/11. "

www.taps.org < "The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, Inc., is a one of a kind non-profit Veteran Service Organization offering hope, healing, comfort and care to thousands of American armed forces families facing the death of a loved one each year. TAPS receives absolutely no government funding, but through the Departments of Defense and Veterans Affairs, all families faced with a death of one serving in the Armed Forces receive information about TAPS and our military survivor programs."

OR....

Just Say Thank you!:

http://www.letssaythanks.com/ - this is Xerox's website, they let you send a FREE postcard to the troops!

Another Idea is that you can contact your local VA (Veteran's Affairs) and see if they need volunteers, visitors (our Vets need to know that they aren't forgotten, not just at Christmas, but year round) or if you can make small presents or cards and deliver them there.